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2003 Year 3 English SATs Marking Scheme Story (filename "year-3-optional-2003-english-story-task-exemplar.pdf") includes:

1. The Moving Statue SENTENCE STRUCTURE PUNCTUATION One day me and Tom was feading the duckes and then Tom saw a statue. Tom said "come here Sophia" so I wet to her and then we wet clooser to the statue . It was moving the statue was madt out of stownand it saw us and came clooser and clooser it was innums. It said "I am King Sam whats youer name I said" Sophia and this is repetition Tom." In the bushishs there was a man how mad muney by seting of simple verbs (A2) people up. We toock the statue home the man in black saw me and Tom going home. Tom said "he wat fited inand I said "we will put him in the gurig none gos there eney muer. The man in black was clauses joined to establish sequence called raspyootn was very ugley he had Spost on her fas. Me and (A2) Tom had our dinre and then we got the statue and took him to the woldos because he eat wood. When he is finsh he has to go in the noun phrase undeveloped and goringch. That night the man in the black coot brock in the repeated (A2) garingch and nicked the Statue and puat him in a Lagch. Tom and me wock up and went to see the statue but when I owpened the use of adverbial door we saw the garich door was owpened and we ran to see where denotes shift in time (A2) he went and there was a lotter. We got a dog and the dog led meand Tom to th statue Tom said "Look it's the man in the black cooted" and I said " and there is king Sam. You de stat him and I will sav the statue Tom mad the man. Chaser and I ran to sav the statue I sat on the statue naned and said "we hav to sav Tom. The statue ran and saw Tom and the man in the black cooted and he put up the man u throo him and Tom said "you hav to go home", me and Tom put him con the staner me and sam staied to criy and so we wens nome to bed. series of clauses, usually grammatically accurate but speech-like in structure (A2) sentences mostly demarcated by capital letters and full stops SENTENCE STRUCTURE Summary Use of clauses linked with and, when, so and then; repetition of verbs and connectives; limited use of adverbials leads to a mark just into band A2 Band A2 – 2 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk COMPOSITION & EFFECT • Beginning establishes time and place (One day me and Tom was feading the duckes); simple recount of a series of events (C2). • Use of dialogue (Tom said “Look it’s the man in the black cooted”) adds detail but not always clearly (C2). Summary Narrative form used to present a recount of events loosely structured round the statue’s actions; some development of characters through direct speech; shifts in time and place sometimes awkward, making the plot hard to follow; on balance this leads to Band C2 Band C2 – 2 marks PUNCTUATION Summary Mostly accurate use of capital letters and full stops; other punctuation is incorrect (speech marks) or omitted Band B2 – 2 marks 2. The Moving Statue SENTENCE STRUCTURE clauses joined to sequence events using and, when and because adverbials used to establish time (A2) clauses joined (above A2) PUNCTUATION when The peple have gone away from the park the statue can play again wif the toys and some times he swims in the water wen ducs are in therer he feeds them like there his pets. and one time robers came and tryd to blow up the toys he herd a boom!!! and then he gos and lows when he sise the Broken toy he caches the rober by Puching him and it rilly herts the rober becose he is mayde from stowne. then the cops cume and he Rushis back to his stown and waches the Robers go to Jaille simple noun phrase (A2) use of exclamation marks (above B1) some awareness of full stops (B1) random use of upper and lower case (below B1) SENTENCE STRUCTURE Summary Clauses mainly grammatically accurate; linked clauses are speechlike; tenses sometimes confused Band A2 – 3 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk COMPOSITION & EFFECT • Writing relates simple chronological sequence of actions of a moving statue; some attempt to create a beginning, middle and end; passage of time marked by simple connectives and adverbials (when, some times, one time) (C2). • Vocabulary choice and some detail help to expand the story (it rilly herts the rober becose he is mayde from stowne) (C2). Summary Writing gives brief sequence of broadly chronological events, including relevant details, meriting the middle mark in Band C2 Band C2 – 3 marks PUNCTUATION Summary Exclamation marks used appropriately; full stop marks end of long sequences but overall the lack of punctuation leads to the award of 1 mark Band B1 – 1 mark Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk 3. The Moving Statue SENTENCE STRUCTURE subordinating connectives vary sentence structure (A3) pronoun confusion (below A3) noun phrases (A2) adverbials (A3) speech-like sentence structure lacking discrimination (below A3) PUNCTUATION One day I went to call on Jake and Jeff to see if they want to play in the park. Unfortunately they were grounded so I went and called on Molly my girlfreind she could come out. I went with Molly she was good company but not as good as Jake and Jeff. I ofered Molly a apple her fafrite fruit she replied "yes please". We sat down and ate by the pond when they finshed they throw the core into the pond AND suddnly the statue in the middle took a jump and court it the Statue jumped back in the same postion it was. Molly let out a terrible yell I joind in we were fritend to death. We ran home to Mollys house and impatiently told her mum the story. Mollys mum did not belive them but said but went witho them to see high a apple coar She drooped the apple coar in and nothing happend... all fell sillent them Molly, mum said to molly "you are grounded for a mounth" "for that" "but mum" mum was to quick and grabbed her by the arm finley molly stalked of home. Mollys mum went to my mum and toled her all of it I got grounded to for a mounth. I stamped up the stairs and into my room I just remeberd my long rope mabye I courd climb out my window and call on greg I got my lony rope out of the cupbord and tied the end of it to my window I opend the window and let the rope fall out it fited perfectly I climbed down it and fell to the garden I sneked out and called up greg he came out and we ran to the park I told him my story of the statue hed got a stone and chucked it at the statue it jumped and court it Cool man said greg he jumpe in and the statue corte him and took him under a bridge the statue came back but not greg!!! sentences demarcated by capital letters and full stops (B2) use of dots to create tension (above B2) use of exclamation marks (B 2) SENTENCE STRUCTURE Summary Variation in sentence types; subordinating connectives give explanations and move plot on; adverbials and noun phrases add detail; sentences sometimes speech-like or confused in focus, suggesting the award of the lower mark in this band Band A3 – 4 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk COMPOSITION & EFFECT • Sequence of events with a beginning, middle and end demarcated by shifts in place; ending is unexpected but appropriate (C3). • Narrator’s character emerges as his thoughts and feelings are revealed (we were fritend to death; I stamped up the stairs) (C3). • Problems posed, creating suspense, then solved (I got grounded to for a mounth… mabye I courd climb out my window), although statue rather incidental to boys’ adventure (C3). Summary The sequence of events is explained and developed with a suitable conclusion; narrator’s character is evident and attempts are made to create suspense, meriting the higher mark in Band C3 Band C3 – 7 marks PUNCTUATION Summary Although some elements of punctuation belong to a higher band (dots to create tension; speech marks), sentences are not always marked, making them overlong; therefore Band B2 is appropriate Band B2 – 3 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk 4. The Moving Statue SENTENCE STRUCTURE subordinating connectives clarify time (A3) adverbials used in different positions (A3) simple noun phrase (A2) PUNCTUATION There once was a statue in a joyful park where happy children played. The statue was a 2nd world war Genaral who looked at children play every day. So one day he was bord and decided to go on a stroll, maybe a stroll wasnt a great Idea but he strolled here and there and then he found an airport. He got on a plane but the plane was to light so he went in a jumbo jet it flew to london. He walked through London crushing anything in his path. Suddenly he saw a car about to crush a child he ran faster and faster until he flung himself across the road caught the little boy and when he saved the kid his mother thanked him, he felt like a hero again like in the war times he was published in papers. He walked on with a gold medal presented to him by the mayor. In the city he saw everything he even watched Wimbledon. He carried on his stroll seeing other war heros. Some were even friends of his.. He carried on walking and came to a great big palace and he thought about trying to see the Queen he thought it wasn't best to bother her and became a statue again and he is still there standing gard outside the palace. comma to mark clause (above B2) capital letters and full stops accurate (B2) SENTENCE STRUCTURE Summary Use of different sentence types and adverbials in different positions varies sentence structure; simple noun phrases add basic details; further development needed to gain higher mark Band A3 – 4 marks COMPOSITION & EFFECT • Plot is developed through the statue’s interaction with the boy he saves (C4). • Character’s viewpoint revealed through his thoughts and observations (he felt like a hero again); narrator’s voice also evident (maybe a stroll wasnt a great Idea) (C4). • Story starts with an attempt at literary opening; events in story work towards an imaginative ending in which the statue returns to his original state in a new location (C4). Summary development of interaction between the characters, and of narrator’s and character’s viewpoints together with a suitable ending lead to Band C4; more expansion required to gain higher mark in this band Band C4 – 8 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk PUNCTUATION Summary Sentence demarcation generally accurate; one clause marked by a comma; other opportunities to demarcate clauses are missed Band B2 – 3 marks 5. The Moving Statue SENTENCE STRUCTURE subordinating connective clarifies time (A3) 1st and 3rd person subjects used to vary sentence structure (A3) some variation of sentence types (A3) adverbials used in different places in order to establish location and characteristics (A3) expanded noun phrase (A3) repetitive use of adverbial phrase (A3) PUNCTUATION One day I was walking along the park, when I came to a beatiful pond it had clear sparkling water, but there in the centre of the pond was the most beatiful statue. It was a statue of a mermaid. It had long , red hair, a purple tail and brown eyes. Water came out her mouth and she was holding a golden mirror, she was leaning agianst huge boldour. attempts to mark clauses with comma (above B3) leads to overlong sentences use of commas in lists correct (B3) The next day I went to the pond and the beatiful statue had gone. Then I saw water coming out someones mouth. I looked in the pond There I saw the beatiful statue. I was shocked, it came to life, it danced around the pond like a tadpol it was the most wonerfut sight. The next day I saw a handsome, human statue he had short, black hair, white tatterd shirt and black, tan trousers and blue eyes. The next day he was gone, I looked into the pond There I saw both statues dancing around the pond I herd them sing. They kissed without knowing they turned into humans, incorrect sentence demarcation (below B3) SENTENCE STRUCTURE Summary Variety of subjects and sentence types used effectively; adverbial phrases and expanded noun phrases suggest higher band; however, repetition of phrases and overlong sentences makes Band A3 appropriate Band A3 – 5 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk COMPOSITION & EFFECT • The story follows a sequence and has a suitable conclusion; time-related phrases are used to move the story on but are repetitive (C3). • Narrator’s reaction is revealed (I was shocked; it was the most wonerfut sight) (C3). • Detail included to create interest (it had long, red hair, a purple tail and brown eyes) (C3). Summary A broadly chronological sequence with some development; reactions of narrator revealed through direct and indirect comments; shifts in place are indicated but passage of time not very clear, indicating that the lower mark in Band C3 should be awarded Band C3 – 5 marks PUNCTUATION Summary Sentence demarcation is generally accurate; some correct use of commas to separate adjectives; commas sometimes used instead of full stops; paragraphs attempted (above B3). Overall this piece is judged to be in Band B3 Band B3 – 5 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk 6. The Moving Statue SENTENCE STRUCTURE verbs used to refer to continuous action and past events (A4) controlled use of 1st/3rd person subjects (A4) variety of subordinating connectives used to mark changes in time (A4) overuse of so (below A4) varied verbs used for effect (A4) adverbials used in different positions (A4) noun phrases express relevant details (A4) PUNCTUATION One afternoon I was playing in the park when I noticed the old mermaid statue moving slightly. Her white stone hand was waving happily at the ducks and her fish like tail was swaying slightly. I was amazed, she had been there for fifty years and never moved an inch. I watched her waving for at least three minutes until, to my astonishment, she dived into the pond and swam joyfully with the fish and ducks. The ducks started to get angry and annoyed with her when she started bashing into them, so they started chasing her around the pond, so she jumped back onto her rock, which was part of the statue, and they left her alone. I ran home to tell my mum what had happened but she didn't believe me so I dragged her back to the park. To my surprise, while I was away, her statue was gone and I knew straight away that the ducks had got so cross they had pecked her away and she had crumbled into the pond. Mum was angry with me for making things up, but just as she was telling me off an eerie outline appeared in the water, it was the mermaid. From now on, whenever I go down to the park, I always see the figure of the mermaid, and once I even saw a fish shaped tail poke out of the water and it swayed from side to side as if it was waving at me........ accurate marking of clauses by commas (A4) SENTENCE STRUCTURE Summary Variation in sentence structures achieved by use of different subjects and sentence types; verb choice is appropriate and varied; expanded noun phrases and adverbials express ideas clearly Band A4 – 6 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk COMPOSITION & EFFECT • The story is well paced and structured; interactions between the statue and narrator are made to seem mysterious (an eerie outline; as if it was waving at me…) (C4). • The narrator’s viewpoint is established (To my surprise/astonishment) and maintained (C4). • Imaginative ending (as if it was waving at me) and interesting vocabulary (white stone hand; swaying slightly) engage the reader, despite some repetition (started, so) (C4). Summary Style and tone consistent; the characters of the narrator and the statue are clearly distinguishable; the unravelling of plot with shifts in time and place adds to overall effect; reader engaged by build-up to imaginative ending, suggesting the middle mark in Band C4 Band C4 – 9 marks PUNCTUATION Summary Commas used accurately to demarcate clauses; other sentence demarcation accurate; paragraphs support shifts in time, place or viewpoint; series of dots used to mark deliberately unfinished ending Band B4 – 6 marks Sourced from SATs-Papers.co.uk http://www.SATs-Papers.co.uk